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The Registry

O Christmas wreath, O Christmas wreath, thy potent

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Ding dong merrily you're high

Nothing says Christmas like a wreath. Except of course a reefer wreath. But why stop at Jesus and Mary, when you can add a full ounce of Mary Jane, dressed with eucalyptus, wheat and rosemary that stoners can use to decorate their knockers this festivus.…

Facebook Messenger ... for who now? Zuck points hi

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Zuck Off, says UK Health Minister

Comment  "Won't somebody think of the children!" Hur hur.…

No, BMW, petrol-engined cars don't 'give back to t

posted: 06 Dec 2017

And it doesn't matter if you call the engine a 'range extender' or not

BMW claims that its electric i3 car has “zero emissions” and is a “really clean car [that] helps to give back to the environment”. Ad regulators have ordered it never to say that again – pointing to the Beemer’s petrol-fuelled auxiliary engine.…

Spy-on-your-home Y-Cam cameras removes free cloud

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Subscribe, or record nothing after a year, customers told

Home security company Y-Cam has enraged its users after pulling its free lifetime cloud storage for its cameras.…

Nokia 8: As pure as the driven Android - it's a cl

posted: 06 Dec 2017

No surprises, just a well made modern mobe

Review  HMD's efforts to put the Nokia brand over what we call the "Shenzhen generics" formula haven't exactly set the world on fire yet. But in all honesty, you'll struggle to find anything better for £399, the revised price of the Nokia 8.…

Capita appoints back bencher baroness as non exec

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Could it be eyeing up more public sector deals?

Public sector outsourcing favourite Capita has appointed House of Lords backbencher Lucy Neville-Rolfe as independent non-executive director.…

Google and pals rush to repair Android dev tools,

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Involves big hitter Android Studio, APKTool and more

Security researchers have found several flaws in the developer tools and environments used by Android programmers.…

The ultimate vendor lock-in: High school opens on

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Big Red (tor)mentors, ‘Design Realization Garage’ and yachting lake (obvs)

As Facebook is being slapped down for trying to get ‘em young with its under-13s messenger service, Oracle has gone one step further towards life-time lock-in: by opening a high school on its campus.…

Car rental firms told: Tell your customers about i

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Privacy International: Companies need to be explicit, not rely on fine print

Car rental companies should offer customers explicit information on what happens to data that has been sucked up by connected cars, a civil rights group has said.…

Google pushed update that broke managed Chromebook

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Schools left without Wi-Fi! How will the kids learn?

A Google slip-up left educators scratching their heads after schools' Chromebooks developed mass wireless network SSID amnesia.…

Sucks to be a... chief data officer, when they're

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Show me the money: No longer data guardians, Gartner says

Chief data officers are increasingly asked to help monetise the data companies hold, rather than purely managing and protecting that data, according to Gartner.…

What on Earth is Terraform: Life support for explo

posted: 06 Dec 2017

It can create or destroy. Yes, we're still talking about IT infrastructure...

Terraform is taking over as one of the critical new technologies for managing composable infrastructure both in and out of the cloud. Where does it fit in a world with Docker, Kubernetes, Puppet and other tools that all seem to be important elements in this space?…

Staff at Steria gov shared services centre offered

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Merry Christmas!

Workers at the Sopra Steria-run government shared services centre received an early Christmas present this week: the opportunity to apply for voluntary redundancy.…

Mozilla and Yahoo! trade sueballs over Firefox-Goo

posted: 06 Dec 2017

'Your search is trash and you stopped paying ' vs. 'we had a deal you can't walk away from'

The Mozilla Foundation and Yahoo! have flung sueballs at each other, after the former ended it deal to have the latter provide search results in the Firefox browser amid claims it hadn't been paid.…

Google pushed update that broke managed Chromebook

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Schools left without WiFi! How will the kids learn?

A Google slip-up left educators scratching their heads after schools' Chromebooks developed mass SSID amnesia.…

Microsoft adds nothing to new Semi-Annual W

posted: 06 Dec 2017

The firewall might not work. It can corrupt data. Why haven't you downloaded it yet?

Microsoft's released something odd: a new tech preview of Windows Server's semi-annual release channel with no new features but a few known issues with the potential to mess things up.…

Mailsploit: It's 2017, and you can spoof the 'from

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Message client vendors have had 25 years to get RFC 1342 right

Penetration tester Sabri Haddouche has reintroduced the world to email source spoofing, bypassing spam filters and protections like Domain-based Message Authentication, Reporting and Conformance (DMARC), thereby posing a risk to anyone running a vulnerable and unpatched mail client.…

Google learns to smile, because AI's bad at it

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Biased models mean bad decisions for women and some races. Google boffins think they've improved things a bit

Google's taken a small step towards addressing the persistent problem of bias in artificial intelligence, setting its boffins to work on equal-opportunity smile detection.…

Beware the IDEs of Android: three biggies have vul

posted: 06 Dec 2017

Android Studio, Eclipse, and IntelliJ IDEA stabbed in the back by an XML parser

Developers using the Android Studio, Eclipse, and IntelliJ IDEA have been advised to update their IDEs against serious and easily-exploitable vulnerabilities.…

OpenStack Foundation backs 'virtualized containers

posted: 05 Dec 2017

'Kata Containers' blends every-container-gets-a-kernel tech from Intel and hyper.sh

The OpenStack Foundation has made good on its promise to start helping complementary projects by adopting every-container-gets-its-own-kernel projects run by Intel and hyper.sh.…

Lap-slabtop-mobes with Snapdragon Arm CPUs running

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Imagine a netbook with a SIM card. Bingo

Pics  Today, Qualcomm, Microsoft, Asus, HP Inc and Lenovo talked up their upcoming Arm-compatible, Snapdragon-powered three-in-one Windows 10 PCs.…

Boffins foresee most software written by machines

posted: 05 Dec 2017

But people will still play a role in crafting code

Boffins at the Department of Energy's Oak Ridge National Laboratory speculate that by 2040 advances in AI disciplines like machine learning and natural language processing will shift most software code creation from people to machines.…

Tech giants at war: Google pulls plug on YouTube i

posted: 05 Dec 2017

You won't sell our stuff? We won't let you watch our vids

Google is trying to stop Amazon Echo Show devices from streaming YouTube videos – and from January, it will block Amazon’s Fire TVs from accessing the vid service, too.…

Netflix mulls using AI to craft personalized movie

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Boffins experiment with machine-learning-edited promos to lure ppl to its flicks

Researchers at Netflix are experimenting with creating software-edited trailers personalized for individual subscribers to get more peeps to watch its films, according to a well-placed source familiar with the matter.…

Google has but one burning desire: Let them ban ac

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Oh move over rover, and let Mountain View take over…

Google has cut rival Amazon's access to its streaming media service in an apparent response to the banning of YouTube on Amazon Fire devices.…

nbn¬トᄁ chair Ziggy Switkowski says HFC remediation

posted: 05 Dec 2017

'Every time we launch a new platform we got through process learning how to do it well'

nbn™ chairman Ziggy Switkowski last night told a Senate Estimates hearing that problems with the hybrid fibre-coax (HFC) network it bought from Telstra first emerged in July.…

Computers building personalized Netflix trailers f

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Streaming service toying with AI to get you hooked to its films

Researchers at Netflix are experimenting with creating personalized trailers to get more users to watch its films, according to a source familiar with the matter.…

Facebook, Twitter, Google cleared in Dallas shooti

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Judge says social networks not to blame for cop killings

A US Judge says social networks cannot be held accountable for the murderous actions of their users.…

Hyperloop founder goes on immediate leave followin

posted: 05 Dec 2017

I'm so surprised, says no one in Silicon Valley

The co-founder of tube-traveling startup Hyperloop One and a key Uber investor has left the company effective immediately following allegations of sexual assault.…

Get ready for laptop-tab-smartphone threesomes fro

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Snapdragon Win 10 PCs declaration of war on Intel

Analysis  Qualcomm conquered the high-end smartphone world with its top-end Arm-compatible Snapdragon chips powering more than 120 smart mobes models globally.…

Data-slurping keyboard app makes Mongo mistake wit

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Ai.type leaves wealth of personal info open to all

Another week, another open database left online, but this latest case has shown not only sloppy security but also how much data you’re giving up with some apps.…

La La La, I can't hear you: FCC responds to net ne

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Pai calls net neutrality opponents 'desperate'

With just a week to go before the head of the FCC will put his plan for a repeal of current net neutrality rules up for a vote, Ajit Pai has come under another barrage of criticism, this time with a focus on consumer protection.…

Facebook, Twitter, and Google cleared in Dallas sh

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Judge says social networks not to blame for cop killings

A US Judge says social networks cannot be held accountable for the murderous actions of their users.…

Denied: Uber's request to skip to UK Supreme Court

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Claimant: We've beaten Uber twice, prepared to do it again

Uber’s request to leapfrog the Court of Appeals and go straight to the UK Supreme Court in its bid to appeal a decision on workers’ rights, has been knocked back.…

EE drops packets but retains UK network champ's ti

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Surprise findings

EE’s dominance as the best-performing UK mobile network has one or two surprising short comings in the No.1’s performance. Real-world data suggests Vodafone has the best network for 4G packet loss and EE the worst.…

VMware UK boss quits 'suddenly' ¬タモ sources

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Wants to lead a 'Phull-er' life

VMware’s UK boss has insisted it was his decision to quit Virtzilla to pursue pastures new and spend more time with his young family.…

Vivaldi Arms onto Raspberry Pi

posted: 05 Dec 2017

A power browser for the hobbyists

The power user’s browser Vivaldi has come to the Raspberry Pi and other Linux Arm boards.…

Call of Duty: Hierachical storage management biz r

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Campaign Storage shuts doors

Hierarchical Storage Management and HPC archiving firm Campaign Storage has closed down.…

Brit bank Barclays' Kaspersky Lab diss: It's cyber

posted: 05 Dec 2017

It's 2017: Is the splinternet nearer than ever?

Analysis  Barclays has stopped offering free Kaspersky Lab products to new users in a move that shows, like Best Buy, commercial firms can be swayed by governmental stances on dealing with the Russian software firm.…

Storage and network prodder Virtual Instruments cl

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Says VirtualWisdom makes it wiser about apps

Virtual Instruments has said it is getting more application-centric with its v5.4 release of VirtualWisdom, its infrastructure performance monitoring and analytics platform, which builds on its Xangati acquisition.…

Viagra's Irish plant STILL giving local men and do

posted: 05 Dec 2017

And I’ll stay up 500 weeks, and I’ll stay up 3,000 days

The near two decade-old story that refuses to lie down aroused interest again at the weekend: folk from Ringaskiddy in rural Ireland complained once more that a nearby Viagra plant was still giving local men and, um, dogs a chubby.…

AMD scores EPYC gig powering new Azure instances

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Don't pop the champagne yet: Microsoft's still using Intel in same series

AMD's return to the server market has won it a place in a top tier cloud: the company today revealed that it has won Microsoft's business for the next generation of Azure's L-series instances.…

Once again, UK doesn't rule out buying F-35A fight

posted: 05 Dec 2017

It'd be more expensive than just buying Bs. Why do this?

The United Kingdom is edging ever closer to buying F-35As, instead of the B model needed to fly from the Navy’s new aircraft carriers, as a senior officer once again refused to rule out a future F-35A purchase.…

Viagra's Irish plant STILL giving local men and do

posted: 05 Dec 2017

And I’ll stay up 500 weeks, and I’ll stay up 3,000 days

The near decade-old story that refuses to lie down aroused interest again at the weekend: folk from Ringaskiddy in rural Ireland complained once more that a nearby Viagra plant was still giving local men and, um, dogs a chubby.…

Investigatory Powers Act: You're not being paranoi

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Civil rights group Liberty has plans on that

Comment  From the day the UK government unveiled its Investigatory Powers Act two years ago, Liberty warned it that the authoritarian surveillance powers the proposed legislation contained were unlawful.…

Bring me your poor, your huddled masses, yearning

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Slimline Android Go slurps from the bottom billions

Just because you earn a dollar a day shouldn’t mean you're lost to the behavioural advertising industry.…

Denied: Uber's request to skip into Supreme Court

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Claimant: We've beaten Uber twice, prepared to do it again

Uber’s request to leapfrog the Court of Appeals and go straight to the UK Supreme Court in its bid to appeal a decision on workers’ rights, has been knocked back.…

WANdisco: We need cash-o. About $10m would.. wahey

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Extra funding to grow biz with partner push

Sheffield-based replication supplier WANdisco, which was hoping to raise $10m to grow the company yesterday, has raised $22m from its share sale.…

Investigatory Powers Act: You're not being paranoi

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Civil rights group Liberty plans to do something about it

Comment  From the day the UK government unveiled its Investigatory Powers Act two years ago, Liberty warned it that the authoritarian surveillance powers the proposed legislation contained were unlawful.…

Turns out Leakbase can keep a secret: It ha

posted: 05 Dec 2017

Stolen-creds-for-cash site disappears, unmourned

Stolen-creds-for-sale site Leakbase has gone dark and started redirecting to Troy Hunt's HaveIBeenPwned.…